Lately, I have been a little restless for having no significant service. Or rather, compared to my previous service, the intensity of my current service is comparable to a twice a week meeting as against to a twice a month meeting. I think I miss the rush that comes with the busyness.
I have been conversing the Lord in my prayer time about this restlessness but God has been silent about it. I sought to have more service but I cannot find an opportunity that I like. Yeah, choosy haha
While walking to the office yesterday, God suddenly spoke, “You are a son of God first. To be God’s servant is second.”
I realized I wanted to feel useful. Unintentionally I have been basing my identity to my service. Having no significant service makes me feel lost, useless, and less love by God.
God reminded me that my first identity is to be his son and second is to be his servant. God loves me. I don’t have to do anything to earn it. God loves me. No matter how stubborn and sinful I am.
God loves me. Unmerited, undeserved but loved nonetheless.
“Lord, I thank you for continuously pursuing me. That even before I strayed too far away, you reach out to me and lead me back to your fold. Thank you for reminding me as well that I am your son. That nothing I will do will increase or decrease your love for me. Lord, may I ever walk each day keeping this truth in mind that in whatever, whenever, and wherever I am, I may radiate your goodness and mercy. Amen”