One of the things that I do in the community is to serve through the Music ministry. I am leading the music ministry, actually. Quite a tough job yet manageable and since music is close to my heart it lightens up the load a bit.
Leading the brothers and sisters in singing songs of praise to the Lord (during worship time) is one of our role in the ministry. And if the brothers and sisters are truly moved into worhip to God, then it is a great fulfillment, for me personally. And if after the prayer meeting, brothers and sisters would come up to me and will say, “Bro, ang galeng ng worship natin kanina. Ang galeng mo maggitara.”.. it is an even greater sense of fulfillment….
What I am trying to say…
There are times that when you accepted a certain service, you can have the most genuine and most sincerest and most humble motivation to do it. Yet after quite some time, your most genuine, and your most sincerest, and you most humble motivation becomes self-serving.. turning to a need to be fulfilled. In my case, it is the need to be fell wanted. The desire to feel significant. (I hope you notice how I shared in the 2nd paragraph). I enjoy the affirmation of the brothers and sisters feeding me to serve evenmore so I can receive more praise and affirmation from them. And I busy myself in serving them all because of the sole purpose of fearing the feeling of being insignificant.
It is embarassing…
But.. I thank the Lord for confronting me. And I was reminded: The Lord doesn’t judge us the way we judge one another on who is the best and who is the greatest. I was reminded that I don’t need to do things, especially crazy and foolish things, for me to be noticed by the Lord. I was reminded that I don’t even need to accomplished big things for me to be loved by the Lord. (NOTE: I am not saying I/you/we should not serve. Service is important part of our Christian life. Service is the concrete form of our love for God.) In fact, my service doesn’t make me love more by the Lord.. that is not his standard…
The truth of the matter is..
The Lord loves me/you/we!
He has his eyes on me/you/us!
He has called us his own!
And he has chosen us to belong to him even before the foundation of the world! (Eph 1:4 )
” Lord, thank you for reminding me that i don’t need to feel insecure. i don’t need to feel insecure because you are taking care of me. You are blessing my concerns, providing for my needs, giving me the grace to get through tough situations (like these one). Lord, in you hands, I am secure. All because you have chosen to loved me. It’s as simple, as You.. deciding to pour down your love for me.. it’s as simple as that.
And Lord, I also wanna thank you for reminding me that i don’t need to feel insignificant. i don’t need to feel insignificant because You loved me. My worth is not measured by my accomplishments over my failures My worth is not even measured by my savings and investments over my expenses. My real worth lies on the truth that I am your son.. I am your child. You have your eyes on me even before the foundation of the world. You have me in your mind even before the foundation of the world. You have shed your own blood for me. You lay down your life for me.. because I am precious in your eyes.
‘What is man that you are mindful of him? What is man that you are mindful of him?’
Yet, I thank you Lord. Thank you for that kind of love you have for me/us.
Truly no eyes has seen.. no ear has heard.. and no mind has conceived… the hope you prepared for us. How high and how wide, Lord and how deep and how long is your love for us.. with great love such as yours… who will not fall in love with you?Amen”