A little faithfulness everyday

Coming from a retreat last weekend, i am reflecting now if I really came out of the retreat been bless by the Lord..

Well, of course, i know the Lord did blessed me… but.. i was trying to measure my experience.. Maybe it was, because i wasn’t able to experience what I was anticipating to experience.. Powerful worship, longer prayer time, fruitful reflection time, simple but deep talks, etc etc…

I’m not saying the talks, worship times are not good… it’s just that.. I’m not satisfied because i was expecting more….

Honestly, I wasn’t even able to pray that much. Lack of sleep, stress(slight), & other things playing on my mind.. i was really distracted.. And so, I pressed myself to really pray the 2nd day…

And true enough… The Lord spoke to me. And his voice was so clear as if were talking face to face… His words penetrating the very core of my being… inspiring me.. moving me… to really pray to him…Without realizing it, I found myself, kneeling down… with teary eyes… with my hands stretched out to the heavens…. crying out my heart to God… ‘Lord, I surrender my life to You’…..

That was a great experience indeed…. if only that was the very thing that happen… The Lord was silent… and didn’t even spoke a single word…..

In the past weeks, I’ve been struggling with my prayer time. And there’s even a day that i wasn’t able to pray at all. I was excited of the retreat because i was expecting that i will experience the Lord powerfully…

Yet, He was silent….

I realized: I’ve grown weary and lazy in keeping and protecting my prayer time, my everyday quality time with the Lord. I was expecting that maybe in the retreat, God will visit me and in some case I may be able to compensate for the times I neglected my prayer time… But the Lord allow me to realize that it is not that way.. that he has an INFINITE WAYS of WORKING in my life… and that I should not limit his work in my life through attending special events like retreats…

The Lord could work in my life… The Lord is working in my life.. CONSTANTLY, PATIENTLY, SLOWLY, SURELY… In my day to day activity that I’ve forgotten to value…in the ordinary things.. in the small and common routines…. in the ordinariness, there is the real essence… If there’s one thing that I believe the Lord want me to learned from my experience of the retreat.. it is to be faithful in keeping and protecting my prayer time– our quality time together. To persevere in pursuing him in the ordinariness of my everyday.

It is not only during special events like retreats that the Lord is working or could do a miracle in my life… but in fact, the Lord is most at work in my everyday endeavor, in my day to day activity, in every struggles, every experiences…

“Lord, I’m sorry for the way that I’ve neglected our quality time together. I’m sorry for the way that I limited your work in my life, limiting it only to special events like retreats. Not valuing the day to day ordinary routines. When in fact, in my day to day ordinary dealings is where You are most at work at.

Lord, I thank you for reminding me that I should take seriously my prayer time. For in my prayer time is where i was able to empty myself that i may be able to take on your love.. to take on your grace.. to take on your life… That I may walk each day not far from you but beside you..

Lord, I pray that you would always allow me to be faithful to you. Remind me if I’m going too far away from you. Allow me to be aware of my mistakes and shortcomings and give me the grace to repent immediately.

Lord, apart from you I am nothing. Apart from you there is no life. Life makes no sense at all without you. Only in you did I found the real meaning to live. Only in you did I experience what does it really meant to live. Only in you Lord, will I be satisfied. Only in you Lord, my soul found true rest. Amen”


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